I write to you while contemplating my purpose and my passion. What am I supposed to be doing with my life? This moment in time seems to have gone on repeat over the years. But this last year my emotions are magnified and amplified to the max. You see I can relate to the character of West. I too have gone through divorce. I too have felt the shame, guilt, loneliness, anger and now after this last year, I feel a greater pull to do something different with my life. I’m lost Charlie. I’m a person who goes to bed repeating my gratitude list and I wake up having gratitude. Isn’t this supposed to help me feel better? Right now, in this moment, I feel lost and worthless. Why? I ask you, Charlie. Why? How do we find our purpose? Why can’t I find my purpose? I’m truly grateful for my life and yet I feel so lost. At this stage of life, I should celebrate every morning. I do have mornings where I wake up full of life and ready to charge full speed ahead and then I stop and ask. Where am I charging too? I seriously can’t figure out where to go. My priorities are guiding my children and their needs and then I think, what about my needs? I don’t mean that in a selfish way. Truly though, what about my needs? When do my needs come before my children? When do my needs come before house chores, grocery shopping and all the other mundane tasks? Is this all my life will ever be? I feel like I have so much to offer the world and yet my life evolves around my children. As a single parent I find the responsibilities overwhelming at times. I’m drowning in other people’s emotions but I’m the one who chose to bring these people into the world. I know I need balance. I know I should be grateful for such beautiful children. I know I should be grateful for the means to grocery shop and strength to keep the house nice. It seems lately I’m struggling to feel the love. I’m struggling to see the beauty of what I have. How do I get back to seeing and feeling the love in my life? I am truly overwhelmed at this current stage of my life. There’s a piece of me that feels better just writing this message to you. When I was a kid, I loved sailing. I want to feel that passion again!
Lost at Sea (In Chicago)
To “Lost at Sea”
Let’s go for a ride and let the wind blow in our face!
Thank you for having the courage to write how you feel. Often times the mere act of putting pen to paper can clear away our angst for the moment. In that moment we are able to feel grounded, centered and at ease. We want that feeling and moment to last all day. Right? That wouldn’t be life, though. How could you know the feeling of love, without feeling indifference? How could you feel the joy of laughter without the sorrow of tears? Doing your gratitude lists is a great way to feed the soul. Perhaps a change of words would help to stimulate your emotions. Try using,
• I am grateful for love • I am grateful for joy • I am grateful for purpose • I am grateful for abundance • I am grateful for prosperity
Create new Gratitude statements that fit you and begin with, “I am…”
The art of being a parent is the most challenging job that we volunteer for. The hours are long, daunting and the pay is horrible but the rewards are priceless. The purpose of parenting is to lead or guide with love. Often times our identity is lost within our deep immersion of parenting. Your children’s age will dictate your time and energy within the home along with your daily responsibilities. I recommend carving out time for yourself. Take one day a week and put your needs before your children. This will not define you as a bad parent or that you’re neglecting your children. Because if you don’t take care of yourself on an emotional and physical level. How will you be able to care for your kids?
The struggle of being lost is an uncomfortable feeling stemming from the fear of the unknown. It’s an easy statement to write that we should accept the feelings or we should love where we are in the moment. The collective moments of fear are overwhelming. The emotion of being overwhelmed triggers the brain to protect you. All resources go into protection mode and send all your past experiences to aid in your defense. What emotions are welded to your past experiences? To find purpose we must face truth. What is your true belief about yourself? Does your true belief come from others who bestowed their beliefs upon you? These beliefs could be a generational inheritance passed to you. So, how do you clear the beliefs?
The question of clearing your limiting beliefs is the journey of life that we can accept, forgive, and love. Or we can live in fear and make all our decisions based from fear. Your truth and passion is housed within your soul. Are you willing to use the key of acceptance and forgiveness to live in love?
I suggest raising your sails to allow your inner child to emerge with the emotions that are holding you back from a purposeful life. Embrace your inner child just as you would your own children.
• Accept the emotions that arise • Forgive the emotions • Love the emotions
Situations will arise on a daily basis to help guide your journey to live a purposeful life filled with passion. Remember, Love is the greatest emotion we can live from.
I surround you in love, “Lost at Sea.”
Set sail, to love life and live life.